Pectus excavatum - the concaving of a person's chest, is a condition I developed during my teenage years. It started off faint but quickly became noticeable to my mom when abroad. An appointment with the doctors was quickly arranged to identify the issue, originally stated to be just cosmetic, which it remained to be for a short while. However, this further developed to a point where it restricted my breathing when exercising or doing mundane tasks like walking - a sensation I can only describe as a large pin being pushed into your chest, restricting me to lie down on my bed or sofa waiting for it to subside. Not only was it causing me physical discomfort, but I also didn't feel comfortable with my own body, I developed a hunched posture to try and hide the shape of my chest.

After a while I had a second appointment with the doctor to talk through the available options, being left with the unnerving news that my chest may not concave enough for an invasive operation to have a noticeable effect on the shape. This was further emphasised with the risk of the Nuss procedure surgery they would opt to do to be removed of funding by the time they would operate on me - around a year after talking through the options. If surgery couldn't be done, I would be left with my chest how it was with only building muscle around my chest area as a way to "hide" the dip; though, I would still be left with the discomfort caused by the concave.

Good news! The surgery was to go ahead, mere weeks before funding was removed, to be exact on the 16th July 2019 I had a metal bar inserted into my chest. To briefly explain the Nuss procedure, they use an MRI scan to mould a metal bar to be shaped to my chest, and then during operation create insitions on both sides of my chest to thread the bar upside down through using a camera to see. They then twist the bar around, which forces my ribs to move upwards (more than an inch in my case), and then bolt the bar to one side for it to stay in place across the two years it takes for the change to be permanently reshaped.

Now, the recovery is not something I'm going to sugarcoat, requiring an epidural to try and weaken the pain I could feel. This definitely did work, however, I was still trapped in my bed as any movement by me would cause my chest to be in agony. This was me for the next couple of days after the operation, though you could understand why, the muscle and chest were still moving around trying to reshape - i magine two years worth of exercise being done in two days, including pain combined. On the third day of recovery in hospital, I decided to try and walk, after trying to get my shirt on, which thankfully we considered and brought buttoned shirts to have my mom help me put it onto my arms. The walking was a task, still with my epidural in, I attempted walking down my wards hall, which surprisingly I was able to do, given this was still with my epidural high - was so drugged up apparently I couldn't walk straight with my mom holding me. On the fourth day, I was able to do walk to the toilet for the first since the operation, which was a great sign of progress, to which I attempted walking to the entrance of the hospital to buy some food from M&S with my parents, still with my epidural though. On the final day of recovery in hospital, I had the epidural removed completely, which was a big shock to the system, I practically was forced to sleep through the pain and to make up for the lost sleep from days prior. Day five, the day of admission, a day I had been hoping to come, feeling much more alive and free to do more common tasks I could do before - much more restricted though, let's just say opening a door was something that hurt or getting out of bed. We decided to get me a V pillow to sit me further upright to relieve some pressure from my chest from lying down, also having the rest of my family provide me with all of my food and drink as I slept in-between meals or watching YouTube. A week after being home was probably the first time for having a shower since being in the hospital, still with the help of my mom. After a couple of weeks, the rate of recovery exponentially improved, gaining much more freedom in my movements and tasks I was able to do independently, though still with a lot of aching - sports were off-limits for several months still though.

Now two years have passed, and my bar is now in my hands, still feeling discomfort from my chest being irritated and the incision made to remove the bar causing pain. Several years of discomfort with my body and two operations later, I am feeling much happier in myself and hopefully remain to be without the chest pains. In the two years, I had a few weird moments, with my bar moving slightly or poking out on the sides if I pull on something heavy or difficult to move, but finally, it is over.